Hurt,defeated,surrendered and tired ,my dad still managed to put a ray of hope in his life even after receiving increasingly brutal insults from his son.
I agree that I deprived him of his dreams and hopes.
Aging father need not realize that humans and their definitions of ethics change based on their circumstances.I must confess I created a type hostile environment where it appeared to be a saddening breeze in the air that
would put even the most jolly person in the state of depression.
I hurt him and I apologize for that.
I remember even after I kicked him ,harassed him,humiliated him ,verbally abused him he would make a cup of milk for me in the morning as I lay on the couch and watch T.V.
GOD has punished me ,I am happy that he brought justice to my Dad.
Dad still loves me.He is too nice and kind may be to a degree that I took him as unwise and gullible.
He lived separately from his wife and my mom,while she lived in United States of America so that she could bring her son to this land of free.I respect their sacrifice and patience.He has a huge heart,very forgiving.
Times change ,his unconditional love and care toward me, didn’t.
My memory knows ,his heart knows,GOD’s eye know the pain, suffering and torture he was made to go through.
I asked him to get me a music system for me and he did.
I asked him to buy me a honda motorcycle as I entered high school and he did.
All he asked me to do in return was be nice toward him and not terrorize him.He put forth a request, not a condition that I get better grades in school,to which I agreed but I failed to keep the promise.
I wish to go back in time and change some things ,it will never happen.I always realize too late about my deeds and behavior,but at least it’s not too late and I have still time to apologize and make up for my mistakes.
I agree I wasn’t the best kid in school and at house but now I have realized and changed.
With time I have matured .
What happened in the past , I have no control over that.I am gladly and eagerly willing to change the present and future to correct the past.
Time has gone and new time is giving me opportunity to make the coming days better.
Fire goes out by water,cold goes away by heat.Had he been like me ,it only would have escalated and made things even worse.He is wise,he knew then I am a petty person , he will know now I am over estimating my self.
He is generous.He will accept me I know it but I am too ashamed to ask for it.I may be able to gather enough courage and request him to accept me but the guilt in my heart will always be there.I know he will spread his arms
wide open and invite me to hug him.I was too innocent to realize I was evil back then.My cruel deeds should not go unpunished.
Luckily I still have the opportunity to to wash away my sins and become a better person in his eye and in GOD’s eyes ,I must take advantage of this moment.
I consider myself lucky for having been given so many chances in life to correct what I did in the past.may be I co-incidentally happen to be around people too nice and forgiving.
I took away his pride ,I must return it before the due date.
I have the resources,correct mindset,just enough time on hand and a will to achieve the goal.
In our culture the most respect one can offer to his elders is by bowing down and touching their feet.But looking at the amount of sins I have committed ,touching feet wouldn’t be enough .
His fingers ,now old and wrinkled with arthritis which gives pain in the winter time.He is limping on his left leg.He may be losing vision slowly,I want him to be able to see my new and improved character.On the phone I can hear the pain in his voice and aging tone that tell me that I must not wait to take action now.
Now I have working hands ,kinder heart,clean mind and a wish to put a smile on his face.He has a right to accept me or reject me,I must leave the final authority and decision up to him.It never hurts to try.