My regrets in life.

I was born in Gujarat,India in 1984 ,when not many Gujarati parents chose to enroll their kids in English-medium school.English-medium school simply means that everything will be learned and taught in English language
including textbooks which will be in English language as well .India’s current Prime Minister Mr.Narendra Modi hails from Gujarat,if you have noticed he prefers to speak in Hindi during Interviews.I am not saying there is
anythingwrong with it,but I can imagine that deep inside him he does feel a little cringe that he is not able to communicate effectively and fluently in English language especially when he is elected to lead over 1 billion
Indians who belong to the biggest and greatest democracy.I didn’t have the privilege to receive my k-12 education in that universal language which could have helped me in life and career but no problem.That’s not the end,Life
goes on.In Mr.Modi’s case it wouldn’t hurt him much if any at all as he is a leader of a nation now.I believe that some rules,requirements,expectations are waived or even overlooked when you reach a certain milestone in
life.But when you haven’t reached there which would hold true for most of the population then it will become the biggest drawback and something that will feel like bottleneck if not a roadblock.

I came to U.S.A. in 2006 ,it was amazing to take a look at the people,nature,tall buildings,clean roads,good and strict laws that are applicable to every person residing in this land of free regardless of their
color,race,gender and social status.I tried to learn how everything works.

I got a job within a second week of coming to this country and I was happy about that.I never worked in India ,which was not particularly unusual for a 21 year old man back then in India.Happy and proud to know that I was
making enough money that if I wanted to I could’ve made a living on my own ,but I lived with family to save money and also I wanted to stay with my family.

I saw cars ,some fancy some not so .I saw houses, some big some small.
My ideology remained the same ,work hard ,go to school,get a job and stick with it for the rest of your life just what my dad who apparently has bachelors in Commerce had taught me.
English language opens up all the doors for you in this world.It gives you confidence ,charm,personality,charisma and a handicap over others who don’t know that language very well.

My parents could’ve chosen to enroll me in an English-medium school.
When you are not fluent with English ,there are certain job positions where you can’t possibly qualify to get a job.Those doors are closed regardles of your technical knowledge.

I have a desire to apply at some nice and well-paid job positions but I haven’t applied as I know the what the outcome will be.
I didn’t start reading newspapers,magazines in English language at a very young age,had I done it I would be a little more prepared for the job market.

Knowledge comes with natural learning.
My first job was at a grocery store as a cashier where I saw some people working in produce department,meat department some as janitors who would also collect shopping carts outside in the parking lot and bring to the enrance
of the store for customers’ convenience.Most of the people in these job positions spoke very limited English .When I joined they had already been working there in the same store and same job position for 3 years ,some even
longer.Last time I visited the store a month ago , most of them were there in the same position and the others had quit.I was curious to know where they went and what they do now if they are still in the U.S.A.I was fortunate
enough to get out of that job in 2010 and find another employment.

Sales and marketing position,salesman at auto dealership,Insurance agent,A job position that requires one to speak in front of sea of people,Claims adjuster,manager at a fancy restaurant like a steakhouse or a sushi
restaurant or a high end bar.
It is very easy to get a job in any field at a minimum wage level,but anything beyond that one’s grip on language becomes crucial.
Efforts to get an emplyment at a white collar or a reputed job position will prove to be futile.
I think that’s what causes the distribution in job market based on the nationality.

It lowers down one’s self esteem and pride and thus self assessment or evaluation will be done at a very low scale.
Once a worker is employed at a certain blue collar position for a certain amount of years,they tend to start thinking that this is what I deserve.I
One starts making likewise friends and keeps going deeper and deeper into that valley where it becomes almost impossible after certain amount time has passed.

It all starts and ends with the type of company you keep.Your company shapes ,defines,creates your character ,class an career.Like the saying goes #Birds of a feather flock together.
There are social settings where one will not be able to go because that person will feel inferior .When at a starbucks or a likewise business ,there are many opportunities that a confident person with excellent communication
skills can take advantage of.

The type of friends I had in school back in my country would be totally of different type ,class and caliber had I been a student of a reputed English school.

After coming to U.S.A. at the age of 21 I took English class that a 5th grader here would take.I understand I had to learn so I can’t claim that taking that class was unnecessary or a waste of time.I had to start somewhere.
I always feel that I am not able to get my point across.
I was a religious person which I still am.Sometimes I wish each second of my life I wasted praying to god and asking him to help me get a better career instead I had used to learn English by reading a good article or a book
then I would be better off today.

Now I feel that I am fighting with time.A wise person knows it is unwise to fight against the forces of nature.Does it mean I accept the defeat?NO.But I will try and in the back of my mind I know only how far I will be able
to go.
I can’t own a liquor store or 711 like my other peers as I don’t have enough capital.in same dilemma as me.
I don’t play lottery which is a sign that I have some intelligent plans about getting out of this mess than believing in a fantasy that will always stay fantasy.

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One thought on “My regrets in life.

  1. for a not english speaker you seem to have great writing skills really, and if you are praying to god because society imposed that on you , leave it . be as human with yourself as you possibbly can be and english is an easy language get some free time and start learning it. i bet in three months you coul learn it . keep hopes up, because time is moving and we are closer to death , and keep a childish spirit see the world as beautiful as possible even if those around you don’t.

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