Father who loves me the most.

I have hurt you , you know it.I am sorry ,you know it.

I shouldn’t be forgiven, I deserve the punishment.

Feel the pain when I think of you , feel the guilt  as I drift back into the past and ruminate over the mistakes I made,every time I hurt you. I am sorry , can’t say it enough number of times to make it right.

Y ou are a light for me , my hope . I love you , I believe there was a ghost inside of me that was leading me and urging me to misbehave . 

I genuinely love you , couldn’t have possibly hurt you while living my real self.It was a ghost, I must let you know that.I was forced by some evil spirits to hurt you , give you pain.I pray to Almighty God each day to keep the devil away from me so I can possible love you and help you and be with you as much as I want.

Life is short,even shorter if you are away from loved ones.But I must say that God has punished me enough and is still punishing me to pay for my sins.

I believe in God more and more as I pay the price for my wrongdoings. I fell that every time I go through suffering in return God also must give you. plesant and joyful moment , to remind me that this is how you close the account in the eyes of God.I agree infact  I believe that’s how it should be.I put you through such a suffering that you also felt suicidal a few times.As mom had taught at a very young age , “one must pay all the sins before they can even meet the death. Hell is here and one pays all the price on earth while still alive.”

I will never forgive myself for this even if God forgives me.I want to spend spme quality time with you.I love you ,always loved but couldn’t express and prove it because of some evil possesion and spirits, at least you would trust me on that.


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